Little Chick Pea

Dear Blogger,

2010-07-30T14:08:00.002-05:00

I forgot you were here.
I didn't mean to.
I just did.
I got caught up in a fad.
I think it's over now.

Can we still be friends?

love,
little chik
xoxo

Confession

2009-05-03T21:52:00.002-05:00

I am THE WORST toothfairy.

Seriously. The worst. My son lost his tooth at school the other day and brought it home. Left it on the counter and in the morning reminded me she didn't come.

Him: Mom, the toothfairy didn't come.

Me: Really? I think it's because she couldn't find it. You've got to leave it under your pillow buddy so she can find it.

Him: (kind of fell for it) Okay. I'll put it there tonight but she better come.

Me: *whew! I've got one more night to pull it together*promptly forgets*.

next morning :

Kid: (holding said tooth with disgusted accusing look on his groggy morning cute face) She didn't come again mom.

Me: You know what honey? It was just pouring rain last night so I'm sure she couldn't make it out. Ya know, she's little and all that so she can't get those rain drops on her delicate little wings. I'm sure she'll make it out tonight.

Kid: Mom. She better come tonight.

Me: I'm sure she will. *promptly forgets again*

after school

Kid: MOM! MOM! I saw the tooth fairy on the way home from school today and she told me there was 5 bucks waiting for me at home!!!!

Me: Really? Well here's your cash then.

I suck.

Aging

2009-04-24T21:41:00.004-05:00

My kids are growing up. It's kind of freaking me out. They are all growing into their gifts and although it's sooooo wonderful it's also kind of scary. I don't know why. I've got one rockin' the drums and playing basketball, one playing electric and joining air cadets(he's all over it), one dancing and performing and playing any instrument she can get her hands on. Perhaps they don't need me as much.

I'm getting old. I feel so much like a grown up lately it's actually kind of sad. I wonder how my grandma dealt with that? How did my mom? Or did you just become an adult and that was the end of it? I am making decisions for myself and for my kids based on character traits I am trying to develop in them, model myself (and honestly, sometimes it's more for me than them). I was struck by the fact this morning, with my birthday getting closer with every passing day, that I am becoming increasingly in danger of getting old. Like over the hill. Like, white haired and wrinkly. K- I'm not really that close. And I'm not as vain as to become completely freaked out by my own aging body but....girl give me hair dye. My nana was white at a super young age and I have to say I see some salt'n'peppa.

Alot of things are changing and I realize I'm at the age of a generation passing on, suppporting others through tragic circumstances, marriages breaking up and well...just change. Change is happening at work and I'm over qualified for my job, so more change is going to happen. Rest eludes me(but never sleep) and there's never enough time to read. With age comes so many wonderful things too. Insight, wisdom, experience, good boundaries, great legs....haha. Perseverance to accomplish dreams. Seeing your kids growing and becoming who they were meant to be.

There's a trade off I suppose. I'm so glad that I was warned my wonderful nana that this would happen. That I would feel like a 20 year old in an aging body. (although I feel considerably better than I did at 20 - ya'll know what I'm talking about). I guess the answer is to read Reader's Digest, drink one rye and pepsi friday night, and walk 3 miles a day.

p.s. If you ever, and I mean EVER see a hair on my chin, or a mustache begins growing...you need to remind me of this conversation and tell me to get it waxed off. OFF! Because friends don't let friends grow facial hair.

Short lived.

2009-02-13T07:09:00.005-06:00

Ya, so I'm back on fb already. Sheesh. What was I thinking? There are so many people who's email I forgot to get! Arrggghhh!

But change is coming. I'm not sure how though. I have to call my sister and figure that out.

I suck. And it's quicker than status updating all my friends through email. :)

There's a disturbance in the FB force. I'm not in it.

2009-02-11T18:42:00.002-06:00

I've done it. The thing I've been contemplating since I joined.

That's right. I've deactivated my facebook account. The reason I joined in the first place was to see some old pictures a friend had up of me and my best friend. See some nostalgia. But then I got sucked into the chatting of it all, catching up with old friends. Collecting friends. (not really for me, but perhaps others). Sometimes that's what it boils down to. A collection. A collection of people who would otherwise not be able to get together and know things, crazy things, mundane things, inappropriate things....about each other. Things that shouldn't be made public knowledge. Or things that people should be revealing in a trusting relationship. Not all willy nilly over the intertron. Or things that should be put in the context of a conversation, human to human, heart to heart. ALOT of drama is going on over there peeps.

I found myself knowing things about people I knew but wouldn't know that side of them. I saw pictures that shocked me, made me laugh, of people's cutie kids and them. It might be the Luddite in me that feels that the connection is so superficial, so surreal. I might "know" from your status that something bad happened to you but because 100 other people know too, your not really getting any meaningful feedback, and it turns into some kind of weird group discussion that wouldn't be replicated in real life. So even though fb gives the illusion of intimacy, it's really an imitation. And that's the problem I have with fb. We, as a society, spend so much time on line building virtual relationships and not enough time chatting on the phone or spending time together over tea. I could have left my page there and left it all stripped down. But why? All of you, who are here, are in my life already and will remain so.

If I think there's a disturbance in the force and I think it's a warp in the space time continuum, I'll let you know that. And if you have something you want to tell me, I'm all ears. :)

p.s. I ate an avocado today and it didn't taste as bad as I thought it would. It was just like the hummus I was afraid of all those years. Yummy.

25 Things about me.

2009-01-28T16:35:00.003-06:00

I have been tagged. My first tag!? I was tagged on Facebook but I'm not really about all THOSE people knowing all this about me. So I'd thought I'd respond here. So I'm still responding just in a different location. :) I'd love to hear about you. If you're reading, consider yourself tagged.

1. I'm wearing earplugs right now and are doing that more often these days. (am I getting old?)

2. I am going to university and despite my pretty high GPA have a super big fear of failure that causes me huge amounts of stress and anxiety.

3. I LOVE napping. It makes me feel good.

4. I secretly want to write and publish children's books that will make them laugh and know love.

5. I also want to be able to write said books in english and cree.

6. When I become a psychologist, I want to be able to help people in their own language.

7. I love laughing and value a BIG sense of humour in anyone who is close to me.

8. I always stay up too late.

9. I run. And I'm not sure if that makes me a "runner" even though I have the t-shirt....and the pants.

10. I'm joining Weight Watchers tonight because I'm sick of having so much junk in the trunk.

11. Although I appear to be extroverted, I am really seriously an introvert and love to spend time alone.

12. I match my underwear to the clothes I'm wearing that day and have since my mom can remember.

13. I am not a morning person. I repeat, I am not a morning person.

14. I am really looking forward to turning 80 so I can go to university for free.

15. A week or month portaging in the bush sounds like a good time to me.

16. I have not touched a drop of alcohol since New Years eve 1992 when I figured out what a frivolous waste of time and mind getting drunk was.

17. I miss my Nana.

18. I'm very honest and never lie. I expect people to be honest to me.

19. I love to drink loose tea with friends.

20. I have found being a parent a really life changing challenge.

21. I love to sing really heartfelt and loud, and I usually sing the wrong words, but I'm okay with that. (my husband on the other hand not so much)

22. My sisters are my best friends.

23. I'm starting to feel the most like myself as I've ever felt as I get closer to 40.

24. I want to travel extensively and broadly.

25. I'm clear headed and calm in a crisis.

Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

Peeps:

2009-01-26T23:40:00.005-06:00

Next time I get the hankering to delete all previous blogs, stop me.

As you know, because my son was viewing my blog at school, I felt the need to delete my previous posts. Cuz well I didn't know who was going to be reading them. So I deleted my life stories. Stories that aren't recorded elsewhere. Sweet stories about my kids and life and what I think of winter solstice and how to cook a deer in the ground(which was a favourite outdoor cooking post) and stuff.... I should have copied and pasted it somewhere. Like in my book. Or a book. Or at the very least my external hard drive.

If your here and reading my blog well that's your choice. I have a blog. I post stuff I'm thinking. That's my choice. It might be weird for you to know things like that because maybe your the kind of person I wouldn't say those things to, but knowing me, I probably would anyway so...Blogging is kind of awkward like that. And I think I'm okay with it. I don't write stuff here I wouldn't say out loud over coffee.

I started my blog at the encouragement of The Queen. "People need to hear your voice", she said. Sometimes I blog to let my family, who is far away, know what sort of madness is happening in my life. To get a little giggle at my expense. (I've seriously ALWAYS been this funny!). To keep in touch with friends. And just to have the pleasure of writing and being heard by someone other than my family.

So next time I freak out and delete everything cool. Remind me to at least back it up so I can share my kids escapades with them when their older.

Overheard at our house

2009-01-24T22:04:00.002-06:00

Little one: Well mom, I know for sure she likes me now.

Me: Oh really honey? How's that?

Little one: Well she walked by my desk today.

Me: And....? How do you know? Just walking by your desk means she likes you?

Little one: Well no. She did one other thing.

Me: What?

Little one: Well, as she walked by she looked at me and said, "I love you T-man".

Me: (disbelief and shock) What? (laughter) What did you do?

Little one: I pretended not to hear her.

Me: You did what?

Little one: Well you said I can't date yet anyway so why hear her?

Oh my.

Balls of Hate and other life lessons.

2009-01-22T19:03:00.003-06:00

In the olden days ladies would get together to "do" something. In my Nana's day they went to each others house to help do something, like pick potatoes, or to pick up eggs but would visit all the while. Some women would get together to quilt. Each making a quilt top and then all get together to quilt the whole thing together and voila a blanket. (that's alot of fun by the way)

When my kids were small, I admit to being a bit of a granola cruncher. I sewed, beaded moccasins, taught myself to knit and crochet. Actually, I think my mom taught me to knit and I painfully knit a tightly woven red scarf...or square because I think I gave up. Anyway, I had developed the habit of never having idle hands in the evening. Since studying I have put my time into that but I do miss working with my hands on a creative piece of work.

I have always done crafty type stuff with my kids and when my daughter hauled out this crochet rug thing and asked me to teach her I was absolutely tickled. I had always dreamed of teaching her to knit and sew and stuff but she's actually gifted artistically and musically and so I think my "crafts" looked pretty corny to a trained eye. :) I got to teaching her and she caught on in about a millisecond but still I sat around and talked. We had an intense heart to heart and I was reminded of the struggles and angst of becoming a young woman. My heart was saddened by the memory of the pain of my own teen years and saddened more by the realization that no one escapes unscathed. It's what makes us who we are I suppose. In the learning how to deal with all the struggles, our own worth, the meanness of others. Grade 8 and 9 is where we choose our path. Which one to go down? The difficult one where we are true to ourselves? Or the easy one that conforms to others?

All of this conversation lead to the frantic creation of a huge ball of crochet t-shirt strips that will be made into a rug. I was amazed by my girl's wisdom when she realized the therapeutic value of the two of us sitting and chatting, crocheting and how much it was helping to release her thoughts and feelings. We hilariously refer to her big rug ball as "a big ball of hate" (a big ball of hate and frustration but we've shortened it down a bit). Her dad would call her for supper, "Time to stop working on your ball of hate honey and come for supper!" I would laugh out loud because I know the benefits of working with your hands, thinking things through with someone to bounce ideas off of and guide you with the wisdom of their own life experiences....and that becomes a ball of healing. A ball of love.

I know we have a challenging few years ahead of us. And I also know we have a close relationship and are working hard to keep the chatting going on. Our girl is good, kind and wise. Too wise for her age. She is beautiful, talented and smart. And she is now working on a "scarf of the disappointment of broken dreams and hope". We're going to have a lot of homemade crochet gear around and should probably take out shares in Bernat or something. I think I'll take a break in studying and start knitting a sweater. I've always wanted to and spending that time with my girl is worth the dip in my marks.

Anyone heard of a psychologist who conducts crocheting sessions? I think the ladies in the days of old had something going on.

Winter

2009-01-21T22:23:00.003-06:00

The weather has been absolutely lovely here this week with the temperatures up in to the single digits (still in the negative mind you). But what a huge change from the cold spell we had since the middle of December. It's alway cold here but it has been like crack your skin cold. We have had indoor recess since December 6 and if that doesn't make you uncomfortable....well come hang out with me for a day and you'll know what I'm talking about. Kids need to be outside. Nuf' said.

It has been a really depressing time and I think I have to say that I actually got cabin fever this year. Oh there's lots to do inside ( like crib tournaments and crocheting hate rugs...more on that later ) but not getting outside except from the car to the door is pretty rough. The other thing has been, the utter speed in which the nostrils freeze together. A person can't do much if your skin is cracking open and having your breathing apparatus frozen together and being unsafe to open your mouth just puts a different spin on well....everything.

So this week I have been completely enjoying the weather and getting out and running. It feels so great! I think I have finally become a runner. I keep saying that and I don't really know when I'll officially "feel" like a runner but I run. And now I wear tight pants and I don't care if I get sweaty. It just feels so good to get my body moving, get out in the sun and chat it up with my colleagues. We pump out an easy 3 km or so at lunch and I think tomorrow we'll do the 2 miler. I hope this weather sticks around, I just might get some junk out of the trunk.

Surprise

2009-01-19T23:11:00.002-06:00

I just bought some yummy, creamy, milk chocolates during a late night drop in at the store for some crocheting supplies. I waited until I got home because there were alot of cars in the ditch on the way in to the city tonight and with my driving record of late (the ditch, the frozen accelerator, hearing the outside inside my car) I am trying not to take any chances. So...I'm off to bed to read and I open my chocolate.

A frilly little peice of white liner in the purple foil caught my eye. I look again. "Wear Matching Underwear". I think to myself, how can a peice of chocolate know this about my compulsive nature? I have matched my underwear to my clothes since the dawn of dressing myself.

I eat the next one. "Ride Shotgun". Always do. Then, "Jump on the Bed". Nowww your going over board.

I haven't felt that surprised since I opened up a pad and found the message, "Have a Happy Period" upon it.

Learning?

2009-01-19T17:08:00.004-06:00

Kind of puts a damper on learning hey?

How to avert disaster.

2009-01-09T17:52:00.006-06:00

I have been having some very interesting happenings with driving lately. I have a lovely little white, 98' Chevy Cavalier Station Wagon. I got it when I started working over 3 years ago. We all thought it wouldn't last longer than a year. It has a good motor in it but the body work is all patched and puttied. It has been a great car.

My car has a few interesting quirks about it that you should know. My hatch won't open as of a couple of weeks ago. The windshield wipers turn on at will for no apparent reason. There is no way to make them stop once they decide to go on their own. I can hear outside but can't quite pinpoint where it's coming from and it's not the floor boards. The defrost doesn't really work in the winter but man does it blow great in the summer! Lastly, sometimes, there is a small slow beeping that gradually increases in intensity and urgency. It sounds similar to like...a countdown to some grand event that could be the car blowing up.

Well this week, as you know, has been a back to work week for me and I haven't really been too impressed with all that working for a living stuff. But just to throw a little action into the mix, I ended up in the ditch coming home from work one day. It's always the worst when it's all happening slow-mo and there is nothing you can do to stop it. The long and the short of my ditch driving was that I was coming down the hill (by the penitentiary.... yikes!) and they had just cleared the roads so they had a nice sheen to them. Then we got a bit of snow and the icy wind chill we've had of minus a billion polished it up. Coming to the T in the road I could see I wasn't going to be able to stop and was headed directly for a ditch. So I thought I might try to try a General Lee maneuver and try to take the corner in a Dukes of Hazzard fashion. Well, lets just say I didn't make the corner....so I tried to get on to the snowmobile tracks down in the ditch a little in hopes of riding that baby outta' there. Well that didn't work either. And in hindsight, my husband says I was overreaching that one. haha... I'm a bit of a risk taker. I hitched a ride to town and called my hubby who said he'd take care of it. And he did. With his Buddy, who razzes me relentlessly about spending more time in the ditch than out. (he pulled me out last year too).

So the other night I had taken to the dark highways once again to drive 45 min to the city to get my books for university when half way there, my gas pedal froze in place. This is more common than I had first thought. I think because of our freezing cold climate and high wind chill factors (-37 C ish all the time lately) it's pretty common for it to happen to most of the people I've spoken to about once a winter. I don't know if this has ever happened to you but it is very scary when your going 110 km/h. So I tried to push the pedal in to jiggle it loose. Makes sense? Well, it stuck at the higher speed. Not nice. I don't know about you, but despite my love of riskiness I don't really like driving 160 or so around other vehicles, errrr...well really at all for that matter. So I got it in neutral and got over to the side of the road where I almost blew my motor. Should I get out? Will it catch fire? Do like pistons and the like shoot out when that happens? I think that needle being in the red zone is bad. What's the logical step? What's the protocol? It all runs through your mind when your trying to figure it out in the minute you have. I was praying like a fiend when all suddenly returned to normal. *sigh of relief and thanks to God!* So I continued on my way. It did happen again on the way home and I handled it better than the first time.

The car went in the shop today where they fixed it -AGAIN- and blew all the snow out from under the hood from my ditch driving expedition.

I asked Larry if it was fixed. He gave me a nervous laugh and said "I guess you'll find out." Yah, I guess I will.

I got a lesson on what to do if it happens again from my friend, the mechanic.

So girls, if you find your gas pedal frozen at an incredibly high speed in the near future....just turn your car off. Yep. That's it. Don't try to put it in neutral. Don't do anything...just turn it off and drive your driving little self over to the side of the road. It sounded so unnatural to me that I had him take me out in my car and show me it would work. Then I practised once. lol Driving lessons from my mechanic. Nice. And apparently it's much cheaper to do that than blow your motor. hahaha

So that's it. I know what to do when disaster strikes next time. Which I'll just have to wait and see if it does or not.....

It has begun.

2009-01-08T16:37:00.002-06:00

My two weeks of rest during the holidays has officially come slamming to a close with the alarm jolting me awake by 6:30am everyday this week. The time I had off was spent just loving on my kids, hanging out with my hubby, reading books, drinking coffee interspersed with visiting and painting. I don't know what I'd do if I had a regular job where I worked like all the weeks of the year. I don't think I could cope?! How do people do that?

I have come to appreciate my job for many reasons but one of the biggies is that I can be off the same days my kids are. I loooove that. I love my kids and I love spending time with my kids. I loathe the day we are return back to our regular routine and are separated from each other. Other mom's think I'm a nut because I don't have that crazed, "I can't wait till they go back" look in my eyes by the end of week one. And don't get me wrong, I like routine, but I really LOVe it when it's my routine not someone else's.

I am back to work, university and doing laundry. My rest is over. But this semester I am determined to balance myself better than last. It was so crazy with all the reno's, classes, work and kids. There wasn't really enough of a schedule to keep things in any kind of order and things were changing day to day. I was mostly just keeping my head above water but I was just exhausted. I think I'm still recovering really, but my creativity for cooking has returned and I am making time for things I like. My husband has done an amazing job on the house and the only complaint I have now is that it's taking time to getting used to all the space. The kids come in to the living room and say, "Hi mom, I missed you!" and they were only just in the other living room. haha

So back to the grind. I may even have some more time for blogging.

Been a while!

2008-11-11T22:38:00.004-06:00

So my son and his friend were chatting at the kitchen table yesterday when I overheard this:

Friend: "Yah, that's a funny picture of your mom you got off the internet."

Me in my mind: oh my goodness. what could he have found? I hope it's not incriminating. well, i did have that sketchy period of life...i wonder what pictures of me are kicking around...jeeesch...he couldn't have gotten into facebook could he have? OH THE HORROR!!!!!

Kid: "Yah, it's a really funny one!"

Me(very calmly): "Oh, why did you need a picture of me for school? I could have gotten you one from home."

Friend: "Oh, don't worry *insert my first name here*, it's a great one of you. It's you all surrounded with acorns."

Kid: "Yah, I got it off Auntie's blog."

Me: *dread and horror* "Really, what picture did Auntie have of me on her blog?"

Kid: "Your Little Chick Pea picture"

Nice. Now all the teachers will be checking up on me. Guess I'll be deleting some posts. lol

On the upside, he needed the picture because he wrote a paper on me. Apparently, I'm his hero.

Awwww......

Building...the new adventure.

2008-08-29T16:35:00.004-05:00

We have been in the process of building an addition to our home. It was the other option to not moving closer to my husbands work. There is nothing to buy in this town for under $280, 000 that would fit our family, so we decided to build on to our existing house. We are building 2 floors. Yahh! On the main floor we will be able to have a lovely entrance area and we'll even have a closet! Yahh! Our present home is just under 900 sq ft. and we only have 2 closets in the entire house. It has been a huge sore spot for me as our bedroom is the catchall for everything that doesn't have a home. And with 5 people living in a house this size, we have alot of things that don't have an official home. I end up having to figure out where everything
lives. It's time consuming. We will also have a big living area on the main floor, 2 large bedrooms upstairs with a full bath and....yippee!...more closets. I can't wait. I can, however, wait to clean double the living space. :) Although I really think more room is going to minimize the cleaning for me because there will be more places and space for things to live therefore less picking up.

We have had some delays with getting permits, contractors, blah, blah, blah. But now we are really moving. We finally not only have a huge hole dug in our yard, but we now, as of today, have the concrete poured for the footings. The walls for the basement/crawlspace will be in on Tuesday. And then, the framing begins.

During the process, I have found out alot of things about my home. Some things have been historically interesting, somethings are somewhat unsettling and some things are just...a conundrum.

I am babysitting my little baby neice today and she has just woken from a nap so I will leave you with a tidbit of info without revealing it all at once.

A portion of our home is about 100 years old. I don't know which part. But I did find out today that our home and the one on the corner are a couple of the original homesteads of the area. Hmmm...interesting. And, in the old days, if it was garbage, it went in the southwest corner of my yard. Be it cow bones, paint cans or chunks of miscellaneous metal. Gross. Glad it's getting out of there.

Another tidbit; When your building and your neighbours don't think your home, they come and skulk around your yard to see what's going on. "Surprise! Hi guys! Whatcha doin'?" Really, you can come over when someone is here, we'll show you around.

Caution tape. Nice.

The egg militia.....

2008-02-11T20:21:00.000-06:00

Just in case your thinking of eating anything you shouldn't be.

Be careful when entering the fridge at my house. You better have a good reason for being in there or fear the wrath of "Army Egg" - aka Zigbert. A brave, soldier egg who defends his fellow eggs....

(yes, the cabin fever has gotten to us all - the kids have taking to egg babysitting)

Family

2007-06-17T20:41:00.000-05:00

I have a HUGE extended family. So much so that I just can't keep track of who's who. I remember people by things like...

...the crazy dancer at auntie's wedding that one time. (oh you know your laughing!)
...that cute little guy that tried to steal your wallet.
...remember? He ate all that klik.
...that guy who brought all that wood for gran.
...when we were little and were highjacking the lawnmower?, she was the one who ate those 4 loaves of bread with me.?

If your not an auntie, uncle or grandparent...I've just labelled you "cousin". It has been that way ever since I was a little girl. The family connections have always been a little elusive. So much so that I have relied on my Gran to keep all of that information straightened around for me. I always asked her "Who's that?". "Oh that's so and so. Your cousins."

That has completely worked for me over the years. I sometimes just don't know how we're related, but it all boils down to usually being some variation of a cousin.

I was at a family wedding yesterday with my own family. It was great! My kids were loved on, were part of the plethora of "cousins", given cash, had the food eaten off their plate by loving auntie's rescuing them from eating all that food (that no one's forcing them to eat), fishing in the river with some guy, wrestled with, hugged, danced with, ect....ect....

They were looking around the rooom at dinner time. The hall was packed. And one of them looked at me and said, "Are these all of our cousins?". And I looked around, smiled and said, "Actually no. Alot of them are missing."

I guess I am finally getting to know who all those people are.

ps. for those of you who can picture this....granny was doing donuts in the grass down by the river because she was all running around in that way she does. LOL

Hangin'

2007-04-28T20:46:00.000-05:00

There are many reasons that I love the clothes line. One of them is obviously that I save ALOT of hydro by not using the dryer. It's nice to the enviroment. On the right day, the line is actually faster than the dryer. If there's a nice breeze, and it's warm, you can fill that baby up a good 3 time during the day. You could actually do about 18 loads of laundry on a good day. (which I may or may not have done today - more likely may) It takes only a couple of hours to dry. And because you have all that laundry together in one spot you can get it all put away at once with less effort than if you use the dryer and fold 5 things and put said 5 things away. That's just beauty in my books.

Late last summer my clothesline collapsed. I had just replaced my old one. In fact, my hubby just reminded me that it was after I hung the third load of laundry that it got bent. It had some clothes on it but certainly not enough to cause an all out collapse. The arm was all broken up and bent downwards in a sickly way. It caused great dissapointment for me. I ALWAYS use my clothesline when the weather permits. So, I didn't really use it for the rest of the summer and made due with the dryer. I usually use my clothes line well into the fall even until the frost hits.

I love the act of hanging clothes. It brings me back to a place of simple times. I get time to think. To be, to work with my hands. Life seems to slow down.

I always think of my Nana when I hang clothes. Back in the day she used her wringer washer to wash clothes on Wash day. I think it was a monday. I don't remember. In the old days you only had a couple of pairs of pants, a couple of shirts, and enough undergarments to get you through to wash day. You had to wear stuff when it was what we would consider seriously dirty. Turn your gotch inside out...or something...I heard once. Then "Wash Day" was a whole day job, and it was the same day every week. On the farm you did certain jobs on certain days. I guess it kept the women sane while they were gardening, canning and cooking for threshing crews.

When my kids were little, I hung cloth diapers and all their little gear on the clothes line. Whenever my Nana was over, she would look at my laundry pile and exclaim, "Oi vey!". She would insist we do laundry and we would hang it all up together. She was so determined to do every last peice of clothing and get it hung up, dried, then put away. She felt she had "earned her keep". It was such a blessing and help to me when I had such little time.

I loved those times with her.

So I finally got it together and exchanged the bent clothes line. It got all put together and I've been hanging. I have had an unrealistic amount of laundry these days. I don't know why. Maybe just that we've been outside in the dirt more, laying in pea gravel a little more and sweatin' doing the yard work.

Or more likely...I got sucked into a book and have been neglecting my laundry duties. *smile*

Another conversation.....

2007-04-12T18:50:00.000-05:00

Dude: (all excited) So I ran my bike today after we put it all back together. We got the bike on the bike stand, changed the front and back brake pads, put on the tack and spedometer on the custom 2' risers, installed the oil tank, battery, the front and rear fender and the newly painted gas tank. We had to put the Harley oil in in order to get the old gummy oil out that was left in there. ( I hear the Charlie Brown teacher voice...wah whahh waaahhh...coming from the dudes mouth )

Me: (trying to sound interested and like I'm understanding) Yah? How'd it sound?

Dude: It sounded great for the first 10 minutes and then there was a sound. A loud rattle and metal slapping noise.

uh oh. ( I have not heard said sound, but from the expression on the Dudes face I know it looks like it's gonna cost money to fix that sound )

Me: (chachingchaching $$$ chaching ) Like a bike sound? A big sound? What kind of sound?

Dude: Metal. (death, monotone voice) A loud rattle and metal slapping noise. Like a rocker arm slapping a valve. But if the valve was stuck, it means I put the engine back together wrong. But that would have happened right away when I did it. Or a bent push rod. But if I did that wrong then that would have bent right away. Or a tappet. And the spark plugs were a nice cinnamon brown. So that rules that out.

Me: Oh. I'm sorry. I don't understand what you just said but it sounds bad.

Quiet one: (who did not even seem to be listening to this conversation) Ummm...dad, was it a ping or a knock?

Stunned silence. And then....

hysterical laughter.

He is so smart.

2007-02-09T23:32:00.000-06:00

One of my favourite people has passed on.

It's why I haven't been blogging. I'm too sad I suppose. Too heart sick.

Because of it though, I have the honour of spending time with a lovely little person. He is bringing great joy to our home and family.

There are dirty diapers, night feedings (only this time I don't have to wake up), little laughs, baby parafanelia and wee socks in the laundry again.

It soothes the soul.

It's what christmas is all about.

2006-12-21T16:00:00.000-06:00

My kids are such givers.

One of my kids took all of their money and bought me the new Children's Wish foundation pin (which is a new Eragon pin! Yahh! How she knows me), and spent as much on the box and bow as the gift.

One of my others just gave me a book they made with all personal stories, poems and antics.

Another just looks me deep in the eyes and says, "Merry Christmas, mom. I love you." A soul touch.

We get all caught up in all the grown up stuff we have to do to make christmas the way we imagine it to be, or should be, or want it to be.

I am a little caught up right now in the grown up things I need to get done. We're going home for christmas. The first in a good many long years. It is so exciting for everyone. We leave tomorrow. We are going to meet the new edition to our family, visit, laugh, play, get into things and make merry. I am still working, shuffling kids and trying to get things ready to go. I'm not stressed but I'm pretty darn tired.

Tonight, although I have a million things to do and get done, I am going to do something more important.

Soul touch.

The laundry and dirty floor will still be there when I get back.

My Christmas Gift

2006-12-21T15:49:00.000-06:00

To:Mom:Poem.

Your eyes that glows just like the sun
I would't dare to tuch
your hair that sparkles
and glare's.

From:Little One

Winter Solstice

2006-12-12T21:04:00.000-06:00

I love this time of year.

I savour the time of the earth having it's rest. The whole process of rest, rejuvination, building up the stores to bloom and busy again. Over the years of watching the cycle in nature I also see the cycle in myself and my family. In the summer, we are all over the place with different activities. Some times, even when we are together, and supposedly relaxing, we're doing the stuff of life and living. Learning and growing.

But I bask in the time leading up to the winter solstice. I love the feeling of all of us being cozy in the house. Hibernating for winter. Time to rest and give my body a reprive after a busy summer and fall. I love going to bed at night with my mohair bunky and my book.

Now as much I love it.... I miss the sun. When I wake up in the morning it's dark. My kids are walking to school when it's dusk. You get home from work and you've only got an hour to go tobogganning. And it's cloudy and dull. As we get closer to the solstice I love staying in my bed in the morning. I don't want to get out. I want to stay and revel in narcoleptic slumber. I'm nappy and my creativity sucks.

The solstice is a week and two days away. I can't wait. I want to go for a night walk. Walk through the woods or marsh under the moon light. Drink some chaud chocolate and chat about the stars. Listen to the still. As much as I love the rest, it's time to get out of bed and hopefully get under the sun with a couple of sun dogs on either side. Get some serious snow happening. (and a couple of snow days *smile*).

Soon it will be the time of Crackling cold. The time of the year when I start saying, "Takayaw anohc".